We’ve often heard that no one is truly happy and that everyone experiences suffering to some degree. While we are indeed navigating the same eternal ocean of life, we are not all in the same boat. Some have yachts, some have canoes, others are swimming, and some are drowning. Some feel the wind, while others just get wet—and that’s perfectly OK.
Suffering is one of the most profound and disturbing human experiences. The limits of human suffering are not yet fully known to us. We stretch them, playing with our limitations and pushing onward. Everyone experiences suffering uniquely, shaped by their individual past and circumstances. Pain is always a signal that we are approaching our personal limits. Sometimes we stop; sometimes we push our luck further, shooting ourselves in the head or jumping out of windows.
Before we make the irreversible choice of jumping from the window, we might recognize that we don’t suffer from life itself; we suffer from our memories of life.It may take many lifetimes to understand that suffering does not hold us; we hold on to suffering. Our preprogrammed subconscious mind, along with our unconscious, unhealed soul system and soul subsystems, does the perfect job of creating beliefs that life is nothing more than a dark place to be. Only a few are willing to light a candle in the darkness of existence. Nonetheless, not everyone is Carl Jung.
The choice of what to do with our suffering—often tasting and smelling like mold we’ve grown too accustomed to—is always ours We don’t need to become Buddha, get up, move on, forget our past, or let go of our fears, shame, guilt, and painful emotional debts. However, our attachment to these big little dramas is the root of our suffering, leading to a deep sense of disconnection. Some people seem to thrive in this painful state, but I advise those who choose to suffer to at least suffer well.
Suffering well is one of the many options we have. Instead of being overwhelmed, we can navigate our suffering with resilience, turning our experiences into a more positive mindset that reminds us that even suffering ultimately gets better. If you resist change and cling to your suffering, then at the very least, suffer with intention. Make it the best version of suffering possible: The Art of Suffering Well. It is just another helpful stick to lean on, but I don’t recommend using it for a prolonged time. Suffering mirrors itself—what we project is reflected back, perpetuating the cycle.
Our suffering can transform into love addiction, as we seek to soothe certain unhealed parts of ourselves. We may unconsciously fall in love with our misery while consciously hating it, creating an internal conflict that fuels ongoing struggles. When we hit emotional rock bottom, we often recognize the urgent need for change. The destiny of suffering lies in its potential to transform us, serving as a catalyst for change and guiding us toward a more authentic and fulfilled life.
My healing system, Sky & Farm, views suffering not as an enemy but as a misunderstanding of reality. The roots of human suffering largely stem from a dualistic mindset, intensified by unresolved trauma. We unconsciously pass down trauma and suffering from one generation to the next. If we pay closer attention, we can often see identical traces of suffering within our own families. The narrative remains consistent, echoing through generations. In this case, analyzing our family structures and dynamics becomes very helpful and may bring beautiful understanding, closure, and peace. And that’s high frequency right there. Everyone is innocent here—there’s no need to point fingers anymore.
There may be countless reasons why humans suffer, from transgenerational traumas and personal traumatic experiences to karmic energy blueprints. However, it always stems from the echoes of the past, vibrating into the future. In the present moment, suffering is an illusion. Yet, for many, living fully in the here and now feels like an unattainable dream.
Everything we experience is a reflection of ourselves. It becomes essential to love all aspects of ourselves: our light in the darkness and our darkness in the light. So, suffering really doesn’t exist, much like the darkness in a room; it only arises in the absence of light, and when we illuminate our minds and hearts, we can see beyond those shadows and recognize our power to choose how we respond to our experiences. Suffering is just an experience—nothing more, nothing less. Unfortunately, it can last lifetimes, shaping our perceptions and influencing our journey.