Not Introvert, Not Extrovert

Not Introvert, Not Extrovert

Introversion and extroversion are often misunderstood as fixed, black-and-white categories, but in reality, most people exhibit a blend of both traits. The idea that someone is purely an introvert or extrovert misrepresents human behavior. It's like standing on one leg for a prolonged time—it's simply uncomfortable. We naturally shift between introverted and extroverted tendencies, adapting to situations and finding a balance that suits us. This fluidity makes us more adaptable and nuanced than the absolutist extremes often suggested—something that might work in a scientific laboratory focus, but not in the complexity of real life.

The concepts of introversion and extroversion have been central to psychology for over 100 years, influencing how we direct our energy and respond to the world around us. While these labels can help categorize behaviors, personality is never as simple as a label—it exists on a spectrum. Our emotional DNA is imprinted with a longing to belong, leading us to seek identity through societal acceptance.

Many individuals don’t truly know themselves unless they rely on external validation. They may identify as introverts or extroverts, roles shaped by childhood experiences and social conditioning. These identities often dictate our hobbies, careers, and relationships, but they don’t always reflect our authentic selves. The labels we adopt are simply conventional stories that help us fit in.

Introverts may see the world through a subjective lens, while extroverts view it more objectively. Yet, these roles arise from how we navigate our upbringing, often influenced by fear, shame, and guilt. Ideally, we should express our true thoughts and feelings openly—much like Italians, known for their expressive nature and enjoying lower rates of heart disease and longer lifespans as a result.

Rather than labeling yourself strictly as an introvert or extrovert, a more accurate description might be identifying as a quieter or louder type, or sometimes being quiet and other times louder. This aligns beautifully with the natural flow of energy, where nothing is permanent and everything changes. These terms better reflect the reality that people fluctuate in how they engage with the world, depending on their mood, context, and needs.

The healthiest way to live involves embracing both sides of our personality. The term “ambivert,” coined by Kimball Young in 1927, acknowledges those who embody traits of both introversion and extroversion. This perspective challenges rigid categories and reflects the nuanced nature of our identities. Just as there are serene spots within nature’s turbulence, we too can embrace the complexity within ourselves.

Carl Jung’s theory supports this view, suggesting that both introversion and extroversion are not fixed traits but part of a dynamic spectrum: “The introvert lives more in his own world than the extrovert; the extrovert, on the other hand, lives more in the world outside him. But neither attitude is ‘better.’ Both attitudes have their strengths and weaknesses.” Jung emphasized that neither trait should dominate our lives. Rigidly sticking to one side would be limiting, while integrating both can lead to a more balanced and fuller self.

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